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train track star love of golf club hunting
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| do it, bitches |
[Thursday
November 18th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Judge Judy |
] |
Post this in my comments....unless your name is Steve.
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!
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24this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
|
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| It's too important to stay the way it's been... |
[Wednesday
November 17th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Death Cab For Cutie-Transatlanticism |
] |
Okay so today wasn't so bad. I actually had a lot of fun in Global. It's fun in the library, classrooms are so boring. Besides, my group is super fun, besides Jon Marsh but...what else is new. He still insists I'd go out with him again....pffft.
So I talked to Mr. Calleri today about my dad's job and he said that there's still a chance it won't happen, just to make me feel better. I don't know though...he almost made me cry though because he said "Now you'll have a story to tell your kids, and it'll probably be the greatest Christmas you ever had." I really don't know how long I'm going to be able to hold it in, ha ha. I really didn't want everyone in my class to know, but I figured since I don't really talk to any of them all that much it would be fine. No one said anything, and I actually was able to forget about it for a while.
Dave said he'd get me something from Something Corporate tonight :-D I'm so mad I couldn't go, I really wish I could've. Damn Wednesdays. But, now I can *say* I went, even though I really didn't. Shhh...just kidding.
So today really wasn't all that bad. Except this morning I wanted to go back to bed...but that's every day. I seriously was going to today, but I had so much energy when I got home, I was like screw that shit.
I'm a boring person.
<3Teenuh
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♥ this is goodbye
|
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| Don't it feel like sunshine after all? |
[Monday
October 25th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jimmy Eat World-Drugs or Me |
] |
Today was mediocre...yeah right. I saw Tom after mod 1, and he handed me a note. I was like AWWWWWW! I never get notes. I felt so special. That really raised my spirits. I wrote back in Spanish mod 2, but I didn't get to give it to him until before mod 9, which was okay because he wrote me a note in study hall the mod before. I just wrote him back and I'll give it to him tomorrow.
If you haven't realized it yet, me and Jason are over. We broke up yestrday. It was mutual...and I didn't cry. I haven't cried. I'm really just fine. And who knows? Maybe something will come of me and Tom. It's entirely possible. He likes a lot of the same things I do. Him and his band are supposed to be playing Cherry Bing soon!!! That's so cool!!! Allie...you MUST come with me, it's at x-wheels. I just don't know how to tell my mom that me and Jason aren't together, ha ha. It's okay though. I'm doing just fine. It really scares me that I got over Jason so easily, like I wasted the past 6 months. And maybe I did, but it was fun while it lasted. It's nice to have someone else. There's that new relationship feel...I really like it. Of course, it's nice now. Give it a few weeks.
I wonder how Jason's doing though. I talked to him yesterday and he sort of seemed like he wanted to break up, but I'm perfectly fine with it. I probably won't ever talk about him again, at least for now. I'm sort of glad it's over. I feel independent, and new, like I can start all over again with Tom. That's so awesome :D
I don't know what all this means but I hope it's clear soon. Maybe the whole thing with Jason was like, preparing me for something. We'll have to wait and see.
I really don't have anything else better going on for me to talk about.
-Tina
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2this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
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| It's somehing unpredictable but in the end its right, I hope you had the time of your life |
[Sunday
October 24th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Last night was rough...haha |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
(in my head)Fall Out Boy-Chicago Is So Two Years Ago |
] |
Okay so I lied, last entry wasn't my last. I don't care who reads it...from now on, if you don't like it, leave. Of course it's always been that way, but especially directed towards people that go to, oh, Maryvale High School. Kay? Kay.
Sooooo, last night was INCREDIBLY fun. I'm so glad I went. Everyone looked so pretty. I have a massive amount of pictures. I hung out most of the time with Nikky, Steve, Alex, and this kid I met, Tom. I talked to Katie every once in a while, and I saw Desi a couple times. Afterwards we went bowling, which was a shitload of fun. A whole bunch of people from Maryvale were there that I hadn't seen all night, like Adam. We played about 3 games. I was getting so tired, I was getting that hyper-lastburstofenergy thing. It was sweeeeeeeeet. We ate so many french fries! I got a basket and then Nick went up and got like 3 more. I was like DUDE! Everyone had a really good time, as far as I saw. Not as much drama as usual for Dramavale, which is awesome. I would've enjoyed it much more with Jason, especially for slow songs. But would'ves and should'ves aren't worth obsessing over.
I also started to realize how much I think Jason is using me. I feel like he only wants to go out with me so he'll have someone to make out with. He never really calls, unless I ask him to, and even then it's, "I don't know." or "I'll try." Am I honestly asking that much? Pick up a god damn phone and let me know you're alive every once in a while. If we're at the skate park, he'll be with me for a while and be like "I'm gonna go skate now." I mean I understand he wants to skate and all, because it is a skate park, but I don't know I really want to do something besides the skate park so we can like....act like we're going out. I really miss talking on the phone with him though more than anything. I want a REAL conversation with him, something I haven't had in a loooong ass time. Nikky says Tom would be so much better. And well, he has my number. So I guess we'll find out. I miss Jason, but it seems to be less each day. Like if we broke up, I'd be hurt, but not a lot. It wouldn't change a lot, I'd still go through everyday not seeing him, and *possibly* seeing him on the weekends but probably not. I knew this was a mistake to begin with. What did I get myself into??
I'm going to talk to him, get this whole thing straightened out.
-Tina
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3this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
|
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| FrEsHmEn '08 |
[Friday
October 22nd, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Thornley-So Far So Good |
] |
So today wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Today was actually really fun.
Today was spirit day/Maron and white day/the Pep rally. Everyone has so much spirit at our school. Granted, it's focused mainly on football and cheerleading, but it just puts you in a good mood, ya know? It kinda makes me want to be a cheerleader. I know it's too late now, but part of me just wants to be...a part of something.
We had a lot of fun though. The pep rally was waaaaay cooler than the middle school's. Still 1,000 degrees in there, but it was super rad. I can't wait until homecoming tomorrow, it's going to be so much fun! I'm really excited about it, actually. I wasn't a while ago, but today put me in such a good mood. Maybe this year won't be as bad after all. I can't wait until next year!
So my sister's moving in with us. It's almost for sure. Everyone keeps talking about it. I'm not real sure if I'm happy with it or not. I mean, I love her and all, and I'd like for her to move back in with us, but it's going to be a lot different. It seems like when she moved out, our relationship got better. I don't want it to get worse :-/ I like the way we are now. I feel like I can talk to her, like we're friends. At least I'm still able to keep my room. I wouldn't be happy with it if I had to give up my room. I'm gonna miss the apartment, though. Like my sister said last night, "It's as if everything that could possibly go wrong at one time...is."
It seems like that for me too. I'm actually enjoying school now, becuase I don't have to think about everything else that's going on. Homecoming is going to be such a good way to get out of the house tomorrow, and just forget everything. Screw school, screw boyfriends, screw friends, screw family. Just have fun. That's what I want for tomorrow.
I was thinking about going to a different school, but I don't know if I could have as much fun at a private school as a public school. Maryvale is one of those things you love to hate.
-Tina
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1this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
|
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| When I wake up I'm willing to take my chances on who I forgive |
[Thursday
October 21st, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Earshot-Wait |
] |
Today was actually pretty fun. I was so sure the Yanks were gonna win though. DEREK JEETS I STILL WANT YOUR BOOOODDDYYY!!!
I had lunch with Katie today and it was a lot of fun. I wish I could sit with Katie every day. I don't want to go back to my old table. I actually ATE lunch, too. I had poptarts, 2 hot fries, and some pretzels. I found out the pop tarts were 410 calories and I was really upset. I'm playing with my metabolism a little though, so I told myself I was fine.
Nothing really fun happened today, ha ha. I laughed a lot in gym. But that's just 'cause Katie was there ;) I developed my film and got my juxtapose done in photography. Now I have this gay ass research project. It's on Andy Warhol, so it's pretty rad, but there are like NO good sites on Andy Warhol. If anyone knows any...contact me somehow. It's due Monday.
So I got a shit load of homework to do and I'm dying my hair, and going tanning tonight. So...I'm procrastinating. A lot. I'm so lazy, heh.
I really need to get to bed early tonight, too. I'm really tired. It's awesome that I fall asleep right away every night, but I'm soooo exhausted. Everyone else is, too. I've heard a lot of people talking about how tired they are. Last night I didn't get to bed until 10:30, and I think I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. Tonight I'm gonna try to be in bed and asleep by 9:15. I think maybe that's why I have bad days all the time, because I'm too exhausted to be happy. I've been eating protein bars for breakfast though that give me some energy. I think I totally fucked myself up :-/
-Tina
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2this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
|
|
| ALLIE BABYDAHLINSWEETIEPIEPUMPKINCAKES! |
[Wednesday
October 20th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hyper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
American Hi-Fi-The Art Of Losing |
] |
PatronPrincessx [8:16 PM]: STOP SENDIGN SO MANY AT ONCE
PatronPrincessx [8:16 PM]: IM AFRAID YOULL NEVER RETURN TO ME
Konstantine712 [8:16 PM]: SOOOORRRY
Konstantine712 [8:16 PM]: AOL HAD AN ERROR
PatronPrincessx [8:16 PM]: LOL AOL IS FULL OF ERRORS
Konstantine712 [8:16 PM]: IT HAS ONE NOW IT DIDNTPUT UP MY WELCOME SCREEN YET
Konstantine712 [8:16 PM]: LOL AOL IS JUST ONE BIG ERROR
PatronPrincessx [8:16 PM]: OH IM SORRY
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: IT IS JUST OEN BIG ERROR
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: THERE WE GO
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: LIKE FAT KIDS IN FRONT OF PROTEIN SHAKES
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: LMAO
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: THATS JUST TOO MUCH FOR A FAT KID TO HANDLE
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: AOL IS JUST ONE BIG HEMMRHOID
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: IS
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: ITS LIKE
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: LMAO FAT KIDS HAVE TONS OF PROTEIN
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: MOTHERFUCKER
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: YEA
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: FAT ASS PROTEINS
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: WHERE THEY RUN AND IT JIGGLES
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: FROM BIG MACS
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: LIKE THIS
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: LMAO
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: LIKE MAN BOOBIES
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: *POKES TUMMEH*
Konstantine712 [8:17 PM]: LMAO THIS KID PAUL WAS REALLY FAT
PatronPrincessx [8:17 PM]: SEE THAT FUCKING JIGGLE?
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: AND HE USED TO GET HIS MAIL NAKED
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: I HEARD HE HAD A SMALL TWIT
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: OMG YOU EVER GET THAT LIKE THING WHERE YOU REMEMBER YOUR DREAM FROM LAST NIGHT
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: LIKE NOT DEJA VU
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: HEY
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: BUT SOMETHING WILL TRIGGER IT
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: ITS WEIRD USAY THAT CUZ I DO
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: LIKE WHEN I SAID TWIT I REMEMBERED MY DREAM FROM LAST NIGHT
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: WEIRDO
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: JASON GOT DEJA VU WHEN I WAS TALKIN TO HIM ON THE PHONE
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: UR ONE BIG
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: FUCKING WEIRDO
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: OTS
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: OVER
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: I HATE WEIRDOS
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: SO I THINK WE WERE TOGETHER IN A PAST LIFE
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: OMG
Konstantine712 [8:18 PM]: IM SO SORRY
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: LMAO IM JUST KIDDING
PatronPrincessx [8:18 PM]: I LOVE YEW
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: ME N U?
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: WTF?
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: LOL
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: U N JASON!
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: AAAW
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: ADORABLENESSS
Konstantine712 [8:19 PM]: AWWWWW
Konstantine712 [8:19 PM]: I KNOW
Konstantine712 [8:19 PM]: I MISSSS HIIIIIMMM
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: I DONT MISS NEONE CUZ I DOTN HAVE ME A BOOOOY
Konstantine712 [8:19 PM]: YOULL GET A BOY
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: BUY ME A BOY TINA
Konstantine712 [8:19 PM]: BUT WATCH OUT FOR AFRO EVAN
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: WITCHO CREDIT CARD LOL
PatronPrincessx [8:19 PM]: HAHAHA
Konstantine712 [8:20 PM]: LOL I HAVE AN AMERICAN EXPRESS
PatronPrincessx [8:20 PM]: BUY ME BOYS
PatronPrincessx [8:20 PM]: OMG
PatronPrincessx [8:20 PM]: BUY ME HOT EMO BOYS THAT ARE BI THAT WILL KISS EACH OTHER FOR THESOLE PURPOSE OF MY HAPPINESS
Konstantine712 [8:20 PM]: WE WERE TALKIN ABOUT FRANKIE IN BIO TODAY
PatronPrincessx [8:20 PM]: THAT WOULD BE..SAH WEET
Konstantine712 [8:20 PM]: COS WE WERE TALKIN AOUT CYSTIC FIBROSIS
PatronPrincessx [8:20 PM]: FRANKIE FROM REAL WORLD?
Konstantine712 [8:20 PM]: YES'M
PatronPrincessx [8:20 PM]: SHESSO HOTT
Konstantine712 [8:20 PM]: AND RYAN GREIG IS LIKE "WHY WOULD YOU CALL A GIRL FRANKIE"
Konstantine712 [8:20 PM]: IM LIKE "COS THATS HER NAME"
PatronPrincessx [8:20 PM]: LOL
PatronPrincessx [8:21 PM]: DERRRR
Konstantine712 [8:21 PM]: LOL
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: HE LIKE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE REAL WORLD IS
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: AT AL
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: WUT W WEIRDO
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: ITSL IEK POART OF SOCIETY
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: I KNOW
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: HES LIKE TOTALLY OUT OF THE LOOP
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: HE STILL WATCHES LIKE...IDNO
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: WE ARE ON THE INARDS OF THE LOOP ME N U TINE
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: REMEMBER KEN JENNINGS?
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: HEH
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: FROM JEOPARDY
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: NOT REALLY
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: AND HE WON LIKE 2750270276026702680268236 DOLLAHS
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: IN LIKE JULY
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: OMG I WANAN BE HIM
Konstantine712 [8:22 PM]: AND THEN THE JEOPARDY SEASON ENDED
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: HESL IEK WHOA SMART AND WHOA RICH
PatronPrincessx [8:22 PM]: LOL
Konstantine712 [8:23 PM]: AND HE CAME BACK IN SEPT. AND EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM
Konstantine712 [8:23 PM]: LIKE EVERYONE WAS TALKIN ABOUT HIM IN JULY
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: YEA BUT HES THERE
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: SORRY IF IM OVERSHARING
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: BUT MY CHEST HURTS
Konstantine712 [8:23 PM]: IM SORRY
Konstantine712 [8:23 PM]: I TALK ABOUT BOOGERS
Konstantine712 [8:23 PM]: SO ITS OKAY
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: OK
Konstantine712 [8:23 PM]: WERE ALL FRIENDS HERE
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: WELL I JUST THOUGHT U SHOUDL KNOW
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: TINA
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: THAT THE BABY IS YOUS
Konstantine712 [8:23 PM]: YOU COULD BE LIKE MY COOCH HURTS AND ID BE LIKE THAT SUCKS
PatronPrincessx [8:23 PM]: YOURS*
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: LOL
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: OMG DUDE WE'RE SO GOING TO MAURY
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: HAHAHA
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: COS I DONT BELIEVE YOU
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: ITS YOURS
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: NOOO
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: ITS URS TINA!!!
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE 99.99999999991% SURE
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: I SWEAR ITS NOT HE MILKMAN'S SON'S PET LLAMA!
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: LOL
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: LMAO MY MOMS LIKE COLIN DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE UNCLE JOE IM LIKE WHAT DOES THE MAILMAN LOOK LIKE
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: COLIN=MY BABY COUSIN
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: UNCLE JOE=MY UNCLE JOE
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: /MOMS BRO
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: HAHAHAHA
Konstantine712 [8:24 PM]: LMAO THAT RHYMED
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: YEAYYUUH
PatronPrincessx [8:24 PM]: SO TINA
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: U GOTTA BELIEVE MEH BABAY
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: THE BABAY IS YERS
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: I DONT BELIEVE YOU
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: WE'RE GOING ON MAURY
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: YEA BETTER
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: IM CALLIN HIM TOMORROW
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: NOOO
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: FUCK
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: ALRITE
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: FINE
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: AND WHEN WE GO THERE YOU BETTER CRY LIKE A LITTLE BABY
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: U CAUIGHT ME
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: LOL
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: ITS
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: AND THEN WE DO THE PATERNITY TEST
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: ....YOURS
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: AND THEN IT PROVE YOU WRONG
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: NOOO
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: IM RIGHT!!!!
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: AND THEN YOU BETTER CRY LIKE A LITTLE BABY
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: AND THEN FLASH THE AUDIENCE
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: I KNOW ITS URS UR THE ONLY ONE I SCREWED IN OVER 18 YEARS
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: HAHAHA
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: THATS SPRINGER STUPID
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: LOL
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: YEAH WELL MAURY THINKS HES SPRINGER
Konstantine712 [8:25 PM]: HES A SPRINGABEE
PatronPrincessx [8:25 PM]: YEA HE DOES
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: SPRINGABEE?!
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: TINA I LVOE YUEW
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: LMAO
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: OMG THIS IS GUNAN TKAE UP LIEK WHOA SO MUCH SPACE IN EL JAY
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: BUT THATS OK
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: CUZ I LOOVE YEEW
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: :)
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: LMAO I KNOW
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: BRB THO I NEED TO FEED MY FATASS WITH BROWNIES
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: WELL MAKE LIKE 5 ENTRIES
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: HAHA I KNOW
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: "THE CONVO PT. 2"
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: LOL
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: LMAO OKAY
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: KEEP SENDING
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: YOU MIGHT WANNA EAT WITH YOUR MOUTH THOUGH
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: IT MIGHT BE BETTER
Konstantine712 [8:26 PM]: OKAY
PatronPrincessx [8:26 PM]: LOLK
PatronPrincessx is away at 8:27 PM
Konstantine712 [8:28 PM]: NOOOOOO
Auto response from PatronPrincessx [8:28 PM]:
TINER UR THE BABY DADDY..ER..MOMMA!!!!
ITS URS!!!!! IM PREGNANT WITH UR LLAMA OFFSPRING BIATCH!
Konstantine712 [8:28 PM]: MAURY
Konstantine712 [8:29 PM]: WE'RE GOING ON MAAAAAAURY
Konstantine712 [8:29 PM]: WE'RE GOING ON MAAAAAAURY
Konstantine712 [8:29 PM]: WE'RE GONNA BE FAAAAAAMOUS
Konstantine712 [8:29 PM]: WE'RE GONNA BE FAAAAAAMOUS
PatronPrincessx returned at 8:32 PM
PatronPrincessx [8:32 PM]: I CAME BEARING GIFTS
Konstantine712 [8:32 PM]: YES!!!!!!!!!!
PatronPrincessx [8:32 PM]: *HANDS TINA BROWNIE FILLED WITH HEROIN* ;) ENJOI
Konstantine712 [8:33 PM]: YES!!!!!!!!
PatronPrincessx [8:33 PM]: SCOOOREEEE
Konstantine712 [8:33 PM]: YES!!!!
Konstantine712 [8:33 PM]: wait
Konstantine712 [8:33 PM]: you just wanna get me high
PatronPrincessx [8:33 PM]: eh?
PatronPrincessx [8:33 PM]: no..
Konstantine712 [8:33 PM]: so that you can do me again
Konstantine712 [8:33 PM]: omg
Konstantine712 [8:33 PM]: dude
PatronPrincessx [8:33 PM]: omg im sorry u figured me out
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: theres a cut like where my elbow bends
PatronPrincessx [8:34 PM]: hm?
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: like on my forearm
PatronPrincessx [8:34 PM]: eeeee
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: it looks like i've been shooting heroin
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: i have NO IDEA how it got there
PatronPrincessx [8:34 PM]: its cuz i drugged u-i mean...
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: but i was scared someone was gonna see it today
PatronPrincessx [8:34 PM]: do u shoot heroin?
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: lol no
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: ...t recently
PatronPrincessx [8:34 PM]: well then dont worry about it lol
Konstantine712 [8:34 PM]: lol i know
PatronPrincessx [8:34 PM]: ...lol
PatronPrincessx [8:34 PM]: conversing with my converse
Konstantine712 [8:35 PM]: lmao
Konstantine712 [8:35 PM]: i converse with my converse
Konstantine712 [8:35 PM]: its weird
PatronPrincessx [8:35 PM]: heh me too
Konstantine712 [8:35 PM]: people look at me funny
PatronPrincessx [8:35 PM]: im like
PatronPrincessx [8:35 PM]: hey chucks
Konstantine712 [8:35 PM]: im like IM CONVERSING WITH MY CONVERSE!
PatronPrincessx [8:35 PM]: i knooow
PatronPrincessx [8:35 PM]: lol
PatronPrincessx [8:35 PM]: CAVITITEEES
Konstantine712 [8:36 PM]: WHEN THE FEELINGS STRONG AND YOU CANT GO ON ITS CAVITIES
Konstantine712 [8:36 PM]: lmao
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: lmao
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: ok
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: this is where
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: i put this convo
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: in me LJ
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: cuz it cant be 2 long
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: lol
PatronPrincessx [8:36 PM]: u do it too!! then we be kool
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: CAVITIES
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: WHEN THE FEELIGNS STRONG AND YOU CANT GO IN ITS CAVITIES
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: ....yes
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: u read my mind
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: WHEN THE MORNING CRIES AND YOU DONT KNWO WHY ITS HARD TO SPARE WITH NO ONE TO LOVE YOU YOURE GOING NO WHERE
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: *rips clothes off* lets do it
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: lmao remember that song?
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: tragedy
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: TRAGEDY
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: nope
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: lol
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: WHEN THE FEELINGS STRONG AND YOU CANT GO ON ITS TRAGEDY
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: it was like the beegees or something
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: and then steps redid it
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: ...not ringing any bells..
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: lol
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: do you remember steps?
PatronPrincessx [8:37 PM]: ..no
Konstantine712 [8:37 PM]: that pop band with like 3 girls and 2 boys
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: oh yea..
Konstantine712 [8:38 PM]: yeah
Konstantine712 [8:38 PM]: tehy were on disney
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: they were pussies
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: big
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: fat
Konstantine712 [8:38 PM]: and they did that TRAGEDY song
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: pussies
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: im like
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: yo
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: if i were straight
PatronPrincessx [8:38 PM]: id be liek u bitches are cliterouses
Konstantine712 [8:38 PM]: lmao
Konstantine712 [8:38 PM]: lmao i almost put lmaou
PatronPrincessx [8:39 PM]: mmkah
Konstantine712 [8:39 PM]: laughing my ass off...
Konstantine712 [8:39 PM]: um
PatronPrincessx [8:39 PM]: heh
Konstantine712 [8:40 PM]: BUELLER.......BUELLER.....BUELLER...
PatronPrincessx [8:40 PM]: ugh i <3 that movie
Konstantine712 [8:40 PM]: ME TOO
Konstantine712 [8:43 PM]: you're a totally jizzin girl
Konstantine712 [8:43 PM]: did you put this in your lj
PatronPrincessx [8:44 PM]: i am now lol
PatronPrincessx [8:44 PM]: jizzin?
Konstantine712 [8:44 PM]: yeah like kickin
PatronPrincessx [8:45 PM]: PUT IT IN YA EL JAY BIATCH
PatronPrincessx [8:45 PM]: lol
Konstantine712 [8:45 PM]: OKAY BIATCH
:D
-Teenah
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2this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
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|
| Survey Time! |
[Wednesday
October 20th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Cursive-Weathervein |
] |
**ABOUT ME
Your full name:: Christina Nicole D'Orazio
Age:: 14
Height:: 5'0”
Natural hair color:: Brown
Eye color:: Green
Number of siblings:: 1 =)
Glasses/contacts?:: Glasses
Piercings:: ears
Tattoos:: nope
Braces?:: Hells yeah
**FAVORITES
Color:: Pink
Band:: Umm...right now? Cursive. All time favorite? Something Corporate
Song:: "Konstantine"-Something Corporate
Stuffed animal:: My puppy :)
Video game:: Metropolis mania...or original mario
TV show:: "The O.C.", "Real World", any stand up comedy on CC
Movie:: "My Girl", "Romeo and Juliet"
Book:: Umm...I don't think I have one. Although I really liked "What Happend to Lani Garver"
Food:: Sushi
Game on a cell phone:: Tetris...or this game my sister used to have.
CD cover:: Umm...I don't know, but I like the back cover of The Postal Service.
Flower:: Umm...I like pink Roses. Or white roses.
Scent:: Warm Vanilla Sugar
Animal:: TURTLLLLLES!
Cereal:: I don't like cereal.
**DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: Not any more.
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: No, 1 hour, at the most.
Like to sing?:: Yeah, all the time.
Have a job?:: No, I used to.
Have a cell phone?:: No, dammit.
Like to play sports?:: Independent sports.
Have a crush on someone?:: Hells yeah :D
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: No, I wish.
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: Yeah I think we got 6.
Have any special talents/skills?:: Umm..I can tap dance.
Excercise daily?:: Yes'm.
Like school?:: Sometimes.
**CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: Yeah, actually
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: Mhmm.
Speak any other languages?:: Yeah, Spanish and a little German. A little french, too.
Go a day without food?:: Mhmm. More than that.
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: I don't think so
Read music, not just tabs?:: Mhmm. I can only read music, I don't think I can read tabs.
Roll your tongue?:: No :(
Eat a whole pizza?:: No way.
**HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: No :(
Cried to get out of trouble?:: Ha ha, yeah. When all else fails, cry.
Gotten lost in your city?:: Uhh...yeah but I was in a car. Several times.
Seen a shooting star?:: Mhmm.
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: Canada.
Had a serious surgery?:: I got my tonsils out in 2nd grade
Stolen something important to someone else?:: No way.
Solved a rubiks cube?:: No but I always wanted to. You gotta be like a super genious though
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: Ha ha, actually no.
Cried over a girl?:: Yeah she made me cry.
Cried over a boy?:: Oh God yes...
Kissed a random stranger?:: Ha ha, no but that's a good idea
Hugged a random stranger?:: No
Been in a fist fight?:: Not yet
Been arrested?:: Not yet, ha ha
Had alcohol?:: Noooooo...t on purpose.
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: No I don't usually drink milk.
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: Psssht yeah.
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: No
Swore at your parents?:: No I'd get my ass kicked
Been to warped tour?:: Nope :(
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: Several times
Been in love?:: Yeas
Been close to love?:: Yeas
Been to a casino?:: Mhmm
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: Not me personally
Broken a bone?:: No, sprained one though
Gotten stitches?:: Yes :( 1
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: No
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: I'd explode
Made homemade muffins?:: No, I'm not a very good cook
Bitten someone?:: Yes, ha ha
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: Disneyworld, once
More than 5 times?:: No :( I will though
Been to niagra falls?:: If you live in Buffalo, you've been to Niagara Falls.
Burped in someones face?:: Yeah
Gotten the chicken pox?:: When I was like, 6 months old
**WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: This morning
Went to the bathroom:: Like 20 minutes ago
Saw a movie in theaters:: September
Read a book:: Uhh...like, August
Had a snow day:: Last like, February
Had a party:: Family wise? Like 2 weekends ago. Friend wise? August.
Had a slumber party:: Like 6 years ago
Made fun of someone:: Today
Tripped in front of someone:: Today
Went to the grocery store:: Uhh...I don't remember. Saturday?
Got sick:: Like last month
Cursed:: 30 seconds ago
**PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: Fruit
Black/white:: Black
Lights on/lights off:: Lights off.
TV/movie:: Movie
Car/truck:: Truck
Body spray/lotion:: Spray
Cash/check:: Cash
Pillows/blankets:: Blankets
Headache/stomach ache:: Headache
Paint/charcoal:: Paint
Chinese food/mexican food:: Chinese
Summer/winter:: Summer.
Snow/rain: both.. but the rain only if its like warm rain
Fog/misty:: Misty
Rock/rap:: Rock
Meat/vegetarian:: Vegetarian
Boy/girl:: boy
vanilla/chocolate:: Chocolate :D:D:D:D
Sprinkles/icing:: Sprinkles
Cake/pie:: pie
French toast/french fries:: French toast
Strawberries/blueberries:: strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: Ocean
Hugs/kisses:: Kisses
Cookies/muffins:: Cookies
p33n/bewbz:: Errr...I'm not at liberty to answer this question
Wallet/pocket:: Wallet
Window/door:: Window
Pink/purple:: Pink
Cat/dog:: Dog
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: Short Sleeve.
Pants/shorts:: Pants
Winter break/spring break:: Spring break
Spring/autumn:: Spring
Clouds/clear sky:: Clear sky
Moon/mars:: moon
**FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: A lot distant, a few close
What are their names?:: Oh lord...
Do you have a best friend?:: Yeah
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: Yes
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: Guys, actually
Have you ever lost a friend?:: Yes more than once
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: Yeah
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: Nikky-THE CHICKENS ARE COMING! THE GREAT HELMET WAR! My weiner's getting hard...core! My grandma has 6 bunnies under her bush, Grow some balls and get over it, Candian hat, most people are right handed, our Buffalo adventures
Allie-BRAAAYYUUUD! Aww come on Cammie, ROCKIN THE CASBAH, WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO
Katie-Our ball in gym...ha ha. Wallace, Walter, IM WALKING INTO LANGUAGE, the cherry outfit, AFRICA! S-T-O-P, Lotion is a dangerous object, Hey Mrs Reidy ::clap clap::, the punnet square, april fools day, Niedapoo, Mrs Petty
Steve-I can be your hero baby, Strapless bra
Julia-I PUT YOUR PICTURE AWAY! The duck with the retarded wing, MR COSTANZA HOW COULD YOU TALK ABOUT MY SEXUALITY?? Poople, athlete's boob
Ashley-MARIA ::snap snap snap snap::, NATIONAL WHALE DAY!
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:: Lord, who hasn't
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?:: Umm, I don't know. Self-flattery isn't my style, ha ha
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: Umm...Nikky and Brittany decorated my locker for my birthday when it wasn't even my birthday :D
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: Yeah :(
What friend have you known the longest?:: Lordy...probably Kristi but we're not that good of friends anymore. Amy's probably second longest
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?:: Mhmm
If so, what is it?:: Lord, I don't even know. Probably being a bitch so much
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: As often has possible
Do any of your friends drive?:: Actually, yes
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: No, fortunately. ::knocks on wood::
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:: Ha ha haha...everything
**LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:: Yeah
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: Yes, definately.
What is your idea of the best date?:: Umm..if it's a person I like, anything really works.
Do you think love is a load of shit?:: Sometimes
Whats the best experience youve ever had with the opposite sex?:: I don't really know...being with Jason is the best to me ;)
Have you ever been dumped?:: Unfortunately.
Have you ever dumped someone?:: Yeah, but not often. In like 6th grade
**WORD ASSOCIATION (Nikky, I love this game!)
Slippers:: Comfy
Hat:: hair
Hard:: boner
Free:: weightless
Space:: empty
Taste:: of Buffalo
Good charlotte:: G-A-Y
Red:: Freshman class color
Deep:: purple
Heart:: broken
Cord:: uroy
Cheese:: raw
Rain:: preeeetty
Work:: sucks
Pedal:: pushers
Head:: err...
Bed:: ughhhh i wanna go there
Fluff:: ernutter
Hardcore:: MY WEINER!
Race:: rat
Knife:: dangerous OBJECT!
Jump:: on it!
**I....
am:: Comfortable
want:: a lot of things
need:: A lot
crave:: Chocolate
love:: Jason. And my friends
hate:: Really dumb questions
did:: Your mom ;) Just kidding
feel:: lazy
miss:: Jason :(
am annoyed by :: Almost everything
would rather:: sleep. Than anything.
am tired of:: filling in this survey.
will always:: Be myself
**SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: Umm...right now I'm feelin the whole 80's new wave thing ;)
What time is it now?:: 5:36 PM...Do you know where your SOCKS are???
What day is it?:: Wednesday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: A long time ago
How much money do you have right now?:: 5 dollah
Are you hungry?:: Sorta
Whatcha doin?:: Drinkin iced cap, what are YOU doin?
Do you like parades?:: If I'm in them (I am an attention whore)
Do you like the moon?:: Never been there
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: Get the dog her food...then homework
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: Kinda
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: Invisibility. Or ESP
Have you ever had a picnic?:: No
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: no but I wanted one.
What about sock em boppers?:: Those were rad
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: hell yeah
**DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: Sometimes
pretty?:: sometimes
sarcastic?:: psssht yeah
lazy?:: hells yes
hyper?:: when I have the energy
friendly?:: sometimes
evil?:: ha ha yeah
smart?:: sometimes
strong?:: HA HA...no.
talented?:: Sort of
dorky?:: YES!
**FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: against
love:: for
drunk drivers:: against
airplanes:: for
war:: against
canada:: for
united states:: against
rock music:: for
gay marriage:: FOR, BITCH
school:: AGAINST
surveys:: When I'm in the mood, For
parents:: ehh, For I guess
cars:: for
killing:: against
britney spears: for!!!!!!!
coffee:: for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pants:: for…
***WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: Yeah
Play strip poker?:: Yeah
Run away?:: Might
Curse at a teacher?:: Mhmm. BAD ASS
Not take a shower for a week?:: Depends on what I'm doing htat week
Ask someone out?:: Never again
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: No.
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: YES
Go scuba diving?:: YES'M
Write a book?:: mhmm
Become a rockstar?:: HELLS YEAH!!!!!!
Have casual sex?:: Ha ha, yeah
LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: Herbal Essences
What kind of computer do you have?:: Dude you're gettin a Dell
What grade are you in?:: 9th
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: *yess
How many posters do you have in your room?:: 3, I think
How many cds do you have?:: Oh lord...::counts:: ::takes forever::
What time is it now?:: 5:41
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4this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
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| It's only in your head you feel left out, or looked down on... |
[Tuesday
October 19th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Ehh...I'm okay. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Marcy Playground-Sex and Candy |
] |
Today was alright I guess. I was really tired and stressed today. It's starting to worry me when I'm so tired like I was today, because I can't focus. I had a left over protein bar that I was going to eat in mod 4/5 because I needed the energy, even if its 210 calories. It was smooshed and I didn't want it. So I ate one just now, although I don't know what good energy is going to give me now. I plan on telling my mom I had a really big lunch. It's time to get down to damn business.
I'm 106 pounds. God I want to be back down to 102 again. I'm jealous of everyone losing weight, and Adam rubs it in my face every freakin' day. We honestly talk about how much we weigh at every lunch period. It's gone from "Tina, you're really tiny" to "HA! I'm SKINNIER than you!" I wanna show all those fuckers. I wanna show them all who REALLY is skinnier than them. It's gonna be me. Give me 3 weeks. I'm pretty sure my dream of being 100 by homecoming is over, unless I can lose 6 pounds in 5 days. I'll lose weight before then though, even if it's not 100. I just gotta fight it, and tell my mom I had too much food to eat today.
Green tea is honestly my savior. It makes you feel so full, which is good. Not a bad kind of full, a satisfied full. A full where you know you haven't eaten anything, but you're full anyway. That's control.
I have to be perfect.
Everything else is going fairly well, though. Me and Jason are doing just fine.
To anyone who's reading this, I really have to apologize. I've been a bitch lately, particularly in the past 2 weeks or so. I'm not going to say it's not my fault, because I've gotta own up to it. It HAS been my fault. I'm really stressed out, and tired, and I know I shouldn't take it out on anyone, but I'm really trying hard. Fortunately, I've had a few select people who have been really tolerant of me and my bitchiness and I love you guys for it...you know who you are ;) I'm trying hard to balance everything and still act like I used to. I hate not being happy like I used to, and I'm really sorry to anyone who's felt my wrath in the past few weeks. I'm hoping it'll all blow over eventually. Homecoming week isn't making it any better.
-Tina
*How wonderful life is now you're in the world...*
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2this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
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| I'll be right beside you dear... |
[Saturday
October 16th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Snow Patrol-Run |
] |
Today should be a good day. *Should*. We hope, ha ha. I'm supposed to go to the skate park with Jason, Nikky (maybe), Matt, Allie, and I don't know who else. It's customer appreciation day, so it's totally free. Yes!
My progress report came yesterday. My grades are as follows:
English: 97
Global: 94
Biology: 87
Math: 66
Photography: 87
Media Arts: 94
Intro to Occ.: 90
Spanish: 99
Woods: 94
All good, really good, except for math, ha ha. I really need to try to do better in math. I need to try to do better in everything. Like Intro to Occ. 90? What the hell is that? I can do much better. And an 87 in biology? Okay I had a 95 in bio, and then I got an 80 on that gay ass test and now I have an 87. Fuckin' A. I'm overall pretty happy with my grades, but I know I could do better in almost all of them. I freaked out yesterday because I found out my spanish average went down one point. Ugh.
So I'm supposed to go to Candace's today, which actually probably won't be that bad. I wanted her to dye my hair today but because I'm going to the skate park and I probably won't be back until late, she probably won't today. Hopefully she'll be able to do it before homecoming next weekend. Everyone's always like, "Your boyfriend doesn't want to go with you to homecoming?" No, it's not that he doesn't want to GO, he doesn't want to get dressed up. He'd go, if it wasn't formal. That's all. Besides, I'm only allowed to bring one guest, and I told Nikky a long time ago I'd bring her. She already bought her dress, too. So I wouldn't be able to take Jason.
Well Ryan finally took a hint after days of him calling and me not answering. He doesn't talk to me in school, and he didn't call yesterday. I'm pretty sure he's well aware I don't really like him, so I think he'll stop calling. I just don't see why he wouldn't before. On the other hand, Aaron really IS the jealous type. He always got jealous if I talked about other guys, but now he always asks me about Jason, and tried to make him really look bad when I told him he wasn't coming to homecoming. Ugh oh well, I'm over it. I don't know if he realizes it gives him even less of a chance with me when he does shit like that. It's gay as hell.
I reeeeeeeeeeeally want the new Jimmy Eat World CD. I shouldn't have bought Cursive on monday, ha ha. I need to paint my nails again, and shower all before at least 4. Jason said we might go around 2, but I really hope not because that gives me about 45 minutes to get ready, and I need to shave my legs today, and the shower isn't even free. Yeah. So...I guess I'll be back tomorrow or Monday.
-Tina
*Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear* <3
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4this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
|
|
| Matthew Shepard |
[Friday
October 15th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Some Cursive song in my head.. |
] |
THE ULTIMATE SILENCE
October 12, 1998
Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
The impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,
Then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.
~ Shel Silverstein
Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.
What will you do to end the silence?
Click here to post this on your own page or weblog
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♥ this is goodbye
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| Are you gonna live your life standing in the back looking around? |
[Thursday
October 14th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jane Says-Jane's Addiction |
] |
So, I'm down to 103. I weighed myself when I got home. I'm glad though, because now I feel like I'm accomplishing something along with being motivated to eat as little dinner as possible. I don't know what we're having, but tomorrow is pizza night, so the skate park would REALLY benefit me. I might even be able to fast for 24 hours tomorrow if we go to the skate park. So now that I'm down to 103, I'm happy. It's my lowest weight, so if I was under 103, I'd feel REALLY accomplished. Only 8 more pounds to go. Yeah, it doesn't seem like a huge difference because it's 2 pounds, but it's a REALLY BIG difference to me. It's like the difference between being 105 and 107. I'd hell of a lot rather be 105.
Everything seems to be going really nicely. Jason and I are doing well, thank GOD. I'm still really paranoid but I'm trying to ignore it/get it to go away. I know he loves me, that's all that matters. I just need to know he loves me. If we broke up, it would probably hurt, but I'd get over it just like I did the last time. I really am starting to think I don't NEED a boyfriend, like I felt I did a little while ago. I don't need a boyfriend. I am independent, and I can do things on my own. That's definately now I'm thinking now.
I'm waiting for my progress report to come. I'm doing good in everything except for math, but I don't know about Media Arts or photography. She never gives us averages or anything like that. It makes me mad. I think I owe her homework though because she has this magazine thing that we have to do every week and I always either forget or by the time I think to do it we don't have photography again that week. We only had 2 days of photography this week. It's hard to keep up with those classes. I'm going to try harder in all my classes, actually. I'm not happy with my bio average at all, an 87 isn't even close to perfect. I don't know what to do, I'll just have to study harder, that's all.
Adam mentioned something like "Ryan's going to hate you, soon." First of all, I really don't care. I don't care who hates me or whatever...and I don't really know Ryan, so it's not valuable to have his respect. If he hated me it would be kind of like...okay. Like I wouldn't really care. Maybe I'm just being a bitch again. I seem to be a bitch a lot lately.
Off to make some green tea...not much to write about today.
-Tina
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♥ this is goodbye
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| Updated Stats :( |
[Tuesday
October 12th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 I failed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Breaking Benjamin-So Cold |
] |
Current stats
height: 5'0
cw: 105
hw: 116
lw: 103
stg: 100
ltg: 95
BMI: 20
1.What have I not accomplished this month? Everything I wanted to.
2.What have I accomplished this past month? Um...not a lot.
3.List one successful aspect of this past month: I went Vegetarian.
4.What do I want to improve this new month? I want to be 100 by homecoming, and I want to lose more inches in my waist. Also, I want to see BONE. I want to stop eating so much junk food. God, I want to re-do everything.
5.My specific food goals for the month are: To stop eating it.
6.My specific exercise goals for the month are: To excersise more often. 200 crunches, and up to 50 push ups.
7.My specific weight goals for the month are: I want to be 100 by homecoming, and maybe 95 by the end of the month.
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3this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
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| Happy, happy time. |
[Tuesday
October 12th, 2004] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Semisonic-Closing Time |
] |
Well, a lot has happened since I wrote last. Me and Jason started going back out again on Saturday night, which makes me really happy. I'm glad we're back together, and I hope it lasts a while this time. I don't want to jinx it, though. I think Nikky's kinda pissed off about it, but I don't know what else to do. I really like Jason, and I know I shouldn't let that get away. I want us to be together for a while. I feel like I got gipped last time, and I don't want to feel like that again. So for now, everything is going really good.
I like how I feel with Jason. I can't explain it, but I've really never had it with anyone else. I'm not really sure if he feels the same way, but all I know is that it must mean something good, right? I'm really hoping for a happy ending this time. Or, no ending at all. I do feel kind of bad about Aaron, but what am I supposed to do, sit around waiting for him to ask me out? Or wait for us to work out, which I know we won't? No, I can't do that, I won't do that.
Besides that, I'm doing really well in school, except for math. I have a 94 in Global, an 87 in Biology, a 97 in English, a 99 in Spanish, a 94 in Woods, and a 66 in Math. Ha ha, I suck at math. I'm definately going to try harder for the next 5 weeks though. I want to raise that to above an 80, I hope. My goal is for an 80 by the end of the next 5 weeks. Not as good as I'd like to do, but I don't want to shoot for anything higher than that and then get my hopes up and not make it or something.
Homecoming is in 11 days...I think. And I'm still not much closer to 100. I think I'm about 105. I have 5 pounds in 11 days to get rid of. I think I can do it. Sunday night I did 170 crunches, and 30 push ups. I've been drinking green tea like madd crazy to get my metabolism up, and I'm cutting out chocolate until after homecoming. It's gonna be hard, but I know I can do it. I'm positive I can do it. Maybe even less than 100 by homecoming? Hmm...maybe. Enough of this bullshit. I have to be perfect.
-Tina
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1this isn't goodnight ♥ this is goodbye
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| Survey Time! |
[Saturday
October 9th, 2004] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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INXS-Never Tear Us Apart (IT'S ON THE RADIO!) |
] |
1. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: Eyes.
2. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: Yeah, if I was old enough.
3. Would you marry for money?: I don't think so.
4. Have you had braces?: Yeah, I have them now. They suck ass.
5. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: Hell yeah.
6. Do you ever cut or hurt yourself?: Not on purpose.
7. When was the last time you had a hickey?: Never, ha ha.
8. Could you live without a computer?: I have, and I hated it.
9. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc..?: Yep.
10. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: Umm...close to 200.
11. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be?: THE 80s! Or the 20s, I'd be a flapper ;)
13. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: If I wore shoes in my house my head would be chopped off with a rusty machette.
14. What is your favorite fruit?: Cantaloupe.
15. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: White, but if I'm desperate I'll eat wheat.
16. What is your favorite place to visit?: Myrtle Beach, SC
17. What is the last movie you saw?: "Mean Girls"
18. Do you kiss on the first date?: Most of the time I do, but only if I really really want to.
19. Are you photogenic?: When I really wanna be.
20. Do you dream in color or black and white?: Color.
21. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: Yes'm.
22. Do you have any dimples?: No.
23. Do you remember being born?: No, but I think it would be cool to.
24. Why do you take surveys?: Because they're fun.
25. Do you drink alcohol?: No.
26. Did you like or do you like high school?: Ehh, it's alright.
27. What is the most beautiful language?: Umm...Italian is pretty, but I'd rather learn German.
28. When you are asleep do you like being kissed awake?: Depends on who it is.
29. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunsets, I don't ever want to be up early enough for a sunrise
30. Do you want to live to be 100?: Not Particularly
31. Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair?: Legs, yes. Armpits, yes. Anything else, optional.
32. Do you like salty food or sugary food the most?: Sugary food.
33. Is a flat stomach important to you?: Yes.
34. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: Yes, but they never really worked. And everyone I've ever played with gets freaked out before we do anything fun.
35. Are you loyal?: Yes.
36. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?: Yeah, I try to be anyway.
37. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off, it's easier to see and possibly fall asleep.
38. Do you believe in magic?: Yup.
39. Do you have nightmares frequently?: Sometimes, when I'm really stressed out.
40. Do you like your nose?: Not particularly
41. Do you like abstract art?: Yes
42. Do you think you can draw well? When I really try, or when I trace
43. Do you listen to music daily?: Yes
44. Do you like to watch cartoons?: Depends on the cartoon
45. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: I don't know if I really remember...Maybe 9?
46. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: Oh lord, in my closet? like 3.
47. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety? I waear the same shoes almost every day
48. Do you write poetry?: Yeah
49. Do you snore?: I'm not sure, I'm always sleeping.
50. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: Front or sides.
51. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?: Rottweiler.
52. Do you lick stamps?: No, cockroaches lay their eggs on the glue. If you get a paper cut you get a cockroach in your tongue. No lie.
53. Do you use an electric can opener?: I WILL NOW! It's because of the incident. We don't talk about the incident.
54. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?: No.
55. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: Emotional. It lasts longer.
56. Do you think balding men should shave their heads?: I think they can do whatever the hell they want with the hair they have left.
57. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?: Yes.
58. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?: Piano
59. Are you a sex addict?: Not yet.
60. Do you know someone who has cancer?: Not at the moment
61. Do you hunt?: No.
62. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?: Neither, really.
63. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?: Art museum.
64. Do you have a middle name?: Yeah, it's Nicole.
65. Are you basically a happy person?: Basically, yes. Recently, no.
66. Are you tired?: Always.
67. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: No.
68. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?: No.
69. How many phones do you have in your house? Um...3.
70. How long is your hair?: It's layered, some of it is up to my chin, some is below my bra. It was pretty long before last Thursday, though. It still is.
71. Do you get along with your parents?: Sometimes.
72. What color of eyes do you prefer?: Brown or Green. Sometimes blue.
73. Are you an active person?: uhh...I always try to be.
74. What medications do you take?: Powerpuff girls vitamins
75. What does your bedroom look like?: It's blue, and it's upstairs, MADD slanted ceilings, and right now its probably really messy because I haven't had the energy to clean it.
-Tina
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♥ this is goodbye
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| This royally sucks |
[Wednesday
October 6th, 2004] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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My Chemical Romance-Helena |
] |
This is really frustrating. Yesterday I was so motivated...I fasted for a whole 24 hours. I haven't done that since August. Now last night I binged on like 6 chewy bars, and way too much dinner. WAY too much. Now today, I had a mint chocolate candy bar that I bought from Katie to support International club, and that alone was 320 calories. I had like 5 chewy bars today at 120 calories each. Wow, I screwed up.
It seems like towards the end of the night I get really bored and I just wanna go in the pantry. I don't know what to do about it, I'm really going to start purging soon. I'm going to take a shower and do it or something, but I have to get rid of this. I have to be 95 by homecoming. I've been doing calistenics every night to get my ab muscles to show, but they're not going to if I keep eating all this fat. It frustrates me, and I really hate it. I hate when everyone says I'm skinny, I hate when everyone says I weigh like 8 pounds. And then they ask for my real weight and I'm 105, I'm fucking 105-107, and I always tell them 103 or 102. I want to confidently say "95" or confidently say "89" I WANT TO FUCKING BE SKINNY. I'm sick of this shit, I don't want to eat dinner tonight. I don't want to eat at all tomorrow. I don't want to eat, so why do I? I was seriously thinking about cutting today after I ate that candy bar. Why can't I just be PERFECT???? God...I hate it when people say I'm skinny because I know I'm not.
Theres this girl that I see every day and I wonder if she's anorexic, because she looks it. She has perfectly defined cheek bones, she has the best arms I've ever seen, she looks to weigh about 90-95. I want to be there. I want people to be saying this about me! I wanted to fast all this week, and all I got was a day. One freakin' day, and I've already gained back all the weight I lost from my fast. If I didn't have parents...oh lord if I lived alone, I would not own any food at all, just water, and maybe a couple apples for off days, I would be at 95 already. I just don't know how to get out of dinner.
It's starting to get to the point where I don't really care who knows anymore. I don't care if Nikky finds out, I don't care if my parents find out, I don't care if anyone finds out. This is my thing, and if you don't like it, don't talk to me about it. I'll be fine, I just want to get down to 95. Once I'm at 95, I'll be happy. I'll be perfectly confident and I'll start eating normal again so that I can maintain. But until I'm at 95, I'm cutting out all sweets, all sorts of chocolate, and all kinds of unnatural sugars. There's too much fat in it. I'm fasting all next week, only eating small amounts of dinner. If I eat too much, I'm purging it. I'm purging it all. I can't stand the guilt that comes along with eating. I'm sick of this faking it shit. I'm sick of this putting it off shit. It's time to push myself. It's time to get to where I want to be. It's time to be thin. Fuck this shit.
-Tina
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♥ this is goodbye
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| +Don't try to tell me what to do+ |
[Tuesday
October 5th, 2004] |
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mood |
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weird |
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music |
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Sublime-40 oz. To Freedom |
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24 hour fast, baby. Last time I ate was yesterday at around 3:30-4 o'clock. I realized that this morning, that if I wanted to 24 hour fast for today, I just didn't have to eat until my dad got home. There's about 45 minutes left in that, and I'm going perfectly strong. Not feeling weak, dizzy, or anything. The food cravings are bothering me, but I'm drinking green tea and water and telling myself the longer I fast the easier it will be. I weighed when I got home and I was 105, which is a good improvment from yesterday when I was 107. Hopefully I'll loose more by the end of today.
Well, the most embarrassing thing happened to me today. I was walking home, and I hadn't gotten to the BOCES building yet, where I walk through to get behind the school and walk home. I'm walking all cool, pretending I'm cool, listening to some TBS, when my messenger bag strap breaks! It completely ripped off the side of the bag, and I was outside where everyone saw me. So not only did I have to walk home carrying my freakin' backpack, but I had to live with the embarrassment of what had just happen. I swear, sometimes you think days are going so well and BOOM your messenger bag strap breaks. Just to ruin your day.
Tonight my mom planned on making me vegetarian chicken and rice with vegetables...too many carbs than I had planned but I suppose it could be worse. Plus we have to go to JCPenny's now to get a new messenger bag, so I suppose that burns some more calories. Mall strolling, right?
I think I'm doing really good in all my classes, except for math. I have a 95 in Bio, a 94 in Global, and I don't know about english or math yet. Math I know I'm probably doing terribly in but I'm trying to get that up. Progress reports are printed on Friday, and most likely sent home on Tuesday. I have a Bio test tomorrow that's 50% of my grade, so I really have to do good on it. I feel pretty confident about the material though, so I'm hoping all goes well.
My finger's getting better. I don't know if I wrote about it, but I sliced it open on a can of oranges on Thursday. It hurt like a mother fucker. It's getting a lot better though, which is good. I didn't need stitches, and it looks like I'm going to live :)
Tomorrow's Gym...don't forget, you miss gym, you miss out.
-Tina
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♥ this is goodbye
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| The Used-"Hard To Say" |
[Friday
October 1st, 2004] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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The Used -"Hard To Say" |
] |
The Used-"Hard To Say"
The singer finished singing
And she's walking out
The singer sheds a tear, fear of falling out
And it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried
It's hard to say that I was wrong
Its hard to say that I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
My worries weigh the world
How I used to be and everything (I'm cold)
Seems a plague in me
And it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by, and I cried...
It's hard to say that I was wrong
Its hard to say that I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
It's hard to say I held my tongue
It's hard to say if only
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
Worse than the fear it's the lie you told a thousand times before.
Worse than a fear, it's the knife.
And it's hard to say how I feel today.
For years gone by, and I cried...
It's hard to say that I was wrong
Its hard to say that I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
It's hard to say I held my tongue
It's hard to say if only
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
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♥ this is goodbye
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xsummer_starx's journal
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pissed off